Out of My Life

I’m hurting. I miss her so much. And I know what I have done to deserve this. I know I caused her so much pain. I shouldn’t have let her go. I shouldn’t have hurt her feelings. If only I knew then my dispositions in life. If only I knew how to cherish the moments with her. If only I learned before how to give back the love she’s giving, maybe right now I’m happy. Maybe right now I don’t have these “what if’s”. Maybe right now we’re both planning to settle down.

I have made wrong decisions in my life before. Decisions that I’m regretting today. Decisions that I am not proud of. And now it makes my life empty and drained. I want to turn back the hands of time. I want to go back to the day she said she love me too. I cried out of joy. Tears fell out of delight. That moment I felt like I’m unbreakable. That very moment, I felt real happiness.

And now she’s out of my life. She wouldn’t talk to me. She wouldn’t answer her phone. It seemed like she don’t even know me at all. And I hate myself for hurting her. I really wish I know what to do to bring her back. I was so confident before, that loosing her would be impossible, because I know that she love me so much, with all her heart and soul. But I realized that love is really not a possession. It’s not something what we can have if we want to, and we can leave if we wish to. All of a sudden and before I knew it, it was all gone. She’s gone. And I’m alone.

All I have right now are wishes. Wishes that I wish to come true. I long for her touch. I long for the moment when I would kiss her and she would kiss me back. I miss her smile and the way she cares for me. I’m yearning for the girl who did nothing but to love me.

I miss all of her. And now, I’m in misery.