"...sa may paanan Niya, nakita ko ang tayog at ningning ng aking mga pangarap. Tama, sa may paanan Niya, doon ako magsisimula..."

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Ang Kangkong.

In about 2 hours, I’ll be leaving my laptop again and go to work to make money under the freaking roof of my boring office. I wonder how I managed to keep my life going like this forever. Honestly, all these years I’ve been thinking of leaving my job and finding another one which is suited to my educational background. Oh, forgive me. Here I go again, another outmoded crap is trying to burst out of my head, all for the same old reason, I am rigidly bored; with the job I’m burdened, with the lifestyle I’m living, with the night schedule I learned to adapt, and so bored to tears by just watching it all happen to me.


I feel unfulfilled. I feel that all the “fudging” plans that I made before graduating from college was all taken for granted. I’m stagnant. I can’t feel the growth I wanted to achieve at least before I turn 25. And I’m 22 years old now. Time flutters so fast but I think my personal and career growth is sluggish. And now I know I have to do something about it, or else, I would have to deal with my Plan B, which is, apparently, to create another life strategy plan.


I’m conscious enough that success cannot be achieved in a snap of a finger. I am very aware that it takes time to get what we desire, especially if you’re just starting to work on it. We cannot push our luck without thinking what might be the risks involved in the circumstances. We cannot just blatantly go over on something we think is right without scrutinizing the result that may come subsequent to our act.


And oh, yes, I know all these facts and this grief might not make any sense to you, and the hell I care! What I’m just trying to say is that I need to make all my plans happen the exact way I want it to take place. I won’t care if you’ll think I’m way too ambitious and pathetic to be saying all these but really, I have to make it all real.

I’m doing my best to accomplish the things I want to achieve. In 3 years time (following my life strategy Plan A), I need to have a positive result. I need to work harder. I know I did my best, but I guess, my best really wasn’t good enough. (Hmmm, that last line sounds familiar, I wonder how.)


So now, I have to go work. Deal with the flow of my boring occupation, and find ways on how to make things happen the way they should.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Yes, it's boring. It's boring when you think that it is. I've felt that and I still feel it sometimes these days. ^_^ because we're wishing that we're working like how we've imagined in our dreams. For some valid reasons, we can't leave our present source of daily bread so we get stuck. This is what I think what's happening, isn't it? Take care.

Bienthoughts [a.ride.to.life] said...

thanks mey! yeah you're right! thanks for the comment, I appreciate it. I always wonder why in this world we have to get stuck into something we don't really wanted to do? maybe that's the real irony of life. take care too!